Normally I just end up trudging through my days at work and then I rush to daycare, then head home and start dinner. By the time dinner is finished and cleaned up up I have about two hours to spend with A Bird before she goes to bed, then if I lucky I have another hour and a half of relaxing, watching a little TV, and catching up with my wife, L Bird, then I head to bed and the whole process starts again in the morning. That is a normal day in my life.
I am so concentrated on what I have to do next that I lose sight of the happiness in the everyday moments. It seems like this happens a lot to me until, through fate or God, I get a sign that reminds me of how lucky I really am and how I should appreciate all that I have and how different things could really be.
One of those moments hit me yesterday at the gas station of all places. I drove into the gas station and I see a girl that I was once engaged to. Its a long story, but she was one of my first loves, we were together for three years and I proposed to her. I was young and foolish and figured a ring would solve all of the problems, that looking back on were clearly spray painted in large bold face print all over the walls. At the time she was all I wanted, when we had problems I would pray to God that he would fix me or fix us and that she would be mine forever. We moved into together in a little apartment and 3 weeks later I found out about one of her many affairs and that was the last straw, as much as it hurt me I threw her out and ended it all. So I saw her yesterday in the gas station parking lot, she was sitting in her car with her two boys waiting for her newest boyfriend. I pretended I didn't see her, pumped my gas, and went in to pay. As I was waiting to pay I saw her boyfriend for the first time and man was he a piece of work. He was wearing a Jose ad Willy's (crummy little dive bar) T shirt, pot belly sticking out of that shirt, skull and snakes tattoos up his arm, teeth rotting out of his head and he is deep in conversation with the attendant. They are talking about a few stray kittens that have been hiding in the brush around the gas station, when this gem comes out of his mouth "You know for a couple of free hot dogs, I'll trap 'em for ya.". I swear to God, those were his exact words. Well after that nugget of information I just shook my head and paid for my gas and got the hell out of there. As I was driving away, he sauntered out of the station scratching himself, hopped in her car lit a cigarette and they pulled away.
The rest of my ride home, I gloated to myself at how much a better catch I was and how bad she screwed up, I know its petty, but for all she put me through I'm still spiteful. But as I thought about this, my mind shifted to how different my life could have been. As I thought about that I felt enormously happy for my life as it is now and I am so grateful God never answered my prayers to make that girl mine. If he had I never would have had all of the experiences I have had with L Bird and I never would have felt her love or the love I have for her. We never would have been married and never would have been so blessed as to have A Bird. I am so thankful for my wife, my daughter, and my crazy life. People always ask, what would you change if you could change anything in your life, I wouldn't change anything, My life is perfect and I am truly blessed.
So I'll pull a Garth Brooks and just say I thank God for unanswered prayers.
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