Just one of those days…

It is just one of those days where nothing goes right. Our house is completely trashed from Christmas. We had 3 Christmas’s in the last two days, so there is just a ton of toys and boxes of toy parts and cardboard strewn about the house. So the house being an absolute mess is driving me crazy, but every time I start to clean up A Bird comes behind me and opens a new toy or is asking me for help with this or that, or my personal favorite, I’ll start stacking toy boxes to put them away and just as I’m about to put the last box on so I can pick it up and put it away A Bird comes screaming in on her new tricycle and plows into the pile knocking toys everywhere, so what’s the point?

Then this morning L Bird comes in and tells me that the shower drain is plugged. Man, she wasn’t kidding it is about ankle deep in water from her shower. Great, so no shower for me, now I feel nasty. But hey I can still brush my teeth and shave, well at least I thought so. I start brushing my teeth at the sink and I notice that all of the water running down the sink is starting to make the tub fill up more. Awesome, so I guess shaving is out. So now I have to go to walmart dirty and unshaven, but what the hell I figure I’ll at least fit in with the other woodchucks now. So I get what we need and Draino Max for clogged drains, “cuts through standing water” it says on the box. Perfect I think and I rush home and pour the whole bottle into the tub, well it does cut through standing water to the bottom of the tub where it proceeded to spread out and go every where but the drain. So now I have to go back out to buy more draino, then bail out the tub so there is no standing water and try it again.

While I’m dealing with this debacle, Linus decides it would be a great idea to eat an entire container of A Bird’s new Moon Dough. So I frantically search the internet for an MSDS on Moon Dough or some sort of safety information and I get a whole lot of dimp. Well, it didn’t kill poor Linus but it did give him a fantastic case of multicolored shits, which he has left for me in just about every room of the house. It’s my own private demented game of find the smell. First, A Bird smells it and says “Dad I smell poop” then I go around sniffing the air like I have a coke habit until I happen to stumble across a brilliantly aquamarine colored piece of poop that has the same consistency of Moon Dough mixed with poop. Funny how that works.

So that has been my day so far, if I don’t freak out and have my head explode I may post more later…