Cranky Morning…

I am NOT a morning person. If I can wake up on my own, I’m OK, but still not in the best of moods. I have to get right up and go get in the shower, then have a cup of coffee, then I start to come around. If I’m woke up early, then I’m pretty miserable. Well today was one of those mornings. L Bird and I try to take turns as to who gets to sleep in and who gets up with A Bird, but I normally get the most benefit as she gets up early with A Bird more often than I do.

This morning L Bird got up to use the bathroom and A Bird woke up, so she got A Bird a bowl of cereal and turned on the TV for A Bird to watch one of her shows and then came back to bed. Not even 2 minutes later A Bird came back into the bedroom to inform me that she spilled the whole bowl of milk on the couch. Awesome way to start the day. So I get up and find the entire bowl of cereal upside down on the couch and milk everywhere. I get that all cleaned up and got A Bird another bowl of cereal.

So I’m up early, I’m cranky, and I’ve already cleaned up one massive mess. OK, I can recover from this, maybe, just don’t let anything else go wrong. To help L Bird enjoy her morning to sleep in I went in and got Linus out of his kennel so he doesn’t whine and wake her up. I let him out on his run and start running water to do some dishes. I open the kitchen window over the sink to be greeted with that damn rooster crowing his head off.I know I am going to have to get rid of him for our neighbors sake, but I was hoping to keep him until he was full grown and fully colored. But it was like he was taunting me, every time Linus would make a noise or he heard or saw me on the deck he would launch into 4 or 5 crows. And because I am already cranky he was annoying the hell out of me, he was very close to becoming a nice chicken dinner. But I digress, so I’m halfway through the dishes and Linus barks to come in, so I stop what I’m doing, go out bring Linus in, then go back to dishes. I’m washing away when I hear A Bird “Dad, Linus is pooping!!”. I turn just in time to see Linus drop a deuce two feet away from me. I swat him and stop him mid-poop and drag him back outside. I’m pissed. He hasn’t had an accident in the house in a few months. I come back to clean up the poop and finish the dishes. Linus is barking to come in, but I left him out so he can finish everything he is doing. I’M NOT CLEANING POOP AGAIN!

I finished the dishes and let Linus in. I’m still pretty miserable, but I’m holding. I’m not getting more pissy, but I’m not getting better either. I start to get coffee ready and  I’m greeted with this hellacious smell. I turned around and there was Linus pooping poop soup AGAIN. My only saving grace was that it was on the floor and not on the carpet. So I dragged him outside again and left him out there for a half hour. I came back inside and clean up poop for the SECOND time. While I’m cleaning up the poop A Bird gets out her tricycle and starts riding circles in the living room and ringing her bell over and over and over and over, ok you get the point. But let me just paint the scene for you:

Ring ring ring, poop smell, ring ring ring, poop smell, I think I threw up a little,ring ring ring, oh know I got the poo on me, dry heave, ring ring ring, get the poop in the trash and hot water on my hands, ring ring ring, “Hey Dad can I wash my hands too?” End scene.

I let A Bird wash her hands, then she scampers off and comes back with one of L Bird’s old purses and her piggy bank. She opens her piggy bank and starts shaking it with all she’s got and change is flying everywhere. My head feels like it’s going to explode, the jingling of change bouncing off the ceramic piggy bank, Linus  jumping around and barking at A Bird shaking the piggy bank, A Bird yelling at Linus for trying to eat her change and all of that with the faint repeated crowing coming in through the windows.

Its at this moment, that I just let my crankiness go and start laughing, because really what the hell am I going to do? This is my life and really, it’s only change on the floor. So I poured a cup of coffee and helped A Bird shake the last of her change out the piggy bank just as L Bird was getting up at 9 AM. I know, right? 9 AM, I let her sleep until 9 AM. I deserve a medal, lol.

Well it appears I’m coming out of my funk and I need a refill on my coffee. Hopefully your morning goes better than mine, Enjoy the day!