I have been in a funk for about a week now and I have no idea why. Have you ever had that feeling where there is something hanging over you and you are just waiting for it to fall on you? But you can’t see it, so you don’t even know what it is or how to prepare for it. I feel foolish for feeling this way, I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the weather. It’s been cold, damp and dreary and is going to stay that way awhile so maybe its just that affecting my mood. Hell, who knows maybe its just stress.
I know everyone has stress and when they hear about someone else’s stress in the back of their minds they’re thinking “Yeah sure buddy, you got stress. You should see what I have to deal with everyday then talk to me about stress.” So I don’t want to sound like I am complaining or whining, this is just more venting than anything else. I know how good I have it, but I am just now able to put it into words and I just want if off my chest.
I am a pretty durable guy, God blessed me with a strong shoulders and a tight mouth. So it takes a lot of weight on those shoulders before my mouth cracks to reveal that anything is bothering me, and even more weight to make my knees buckle. But this month has just seemed to be the perfect storm of stress. I had a colossal bungle land in my lap with work, things could have gone a couple of ways and the stress of that left me on unsure footing for a little bit, but things are right as rain now. Then I have some family stuff going on that is stressing me out. I have my own personal medical stuff that I don’t want to get into and then my parents are going through their own trials so that stress is just compounding things. Out of respect for them I am not going to divulge what they are dealing with, just that it worries me. I am grateful that my parents feel like they can talk to me and tell me what’s going on, but sometimes the weight of their stress and my stress feels crushing. There are times that I feel it is a role reversal, where I am the one they turn to for my opinion and it feels strange. But I would much rather know what is going on than be left in the dark. At least if I know what it is I can pray about it and make my plans on how to help and how to deal with it. I guess the biggest stress is just the not knowing. Not knowing how things are going to work out and not knowing the repercussions of those things.
I know things will get better, they always do. It’s just this plodding on through with my head down that is getting to me. Things already feel slightly better, just by getting this off my chest. The light at the end of the tunnel is dimly lit and barely visible, but it visible all the same. OK I’m done venting for now, I don’t want to swallow everyone up with my funk. So bring on the weekend and enjoy yours!!!
I know everyone has stress and when they hear about someone else’s stress in the back of their minds they’re thinking “Yeah sure buddy, you got stress. You should see what I have to deal with everyday then talk to me about stress.” So I don’t want to sound like I am complaining or whining, this is just more venting than anything else. I know how good I have it, but I am just now able to put it into words and I just want if off my chest.
I am a pretty durable guy, God blessed me with a strong shoulders and a tight mouth. So it takes a lot of weight on those shoulders before my mouth cracks to reveal that anything is bothering me, and even more weight to make my knees buckle. But this month has just seemed to be the perfect storm of stress. I had a colossal bungle land in my lap with work, things could have gone a couple of ways and the stress of that left me on unsure footing for a little bit, but things are right as rain now. Then I have some family stuff going on that is stressing me out. I have my own personal medical stuff that I don’t want to get into and then my parents are going through their own trials so that stress is just compounding things. Out of respect for them I am not going to divulge what they are dealing with, just that it worries me. I am grateful that my parents feel like they can talk to me and tell me what’s going on, but sometimes the weight of their stress and my stress feels crushing. There are times that I feel it is a role reversal, where I am the one they turn to for my opinion and it feels strange. But I would much rather know what is going on than be left in the dark. At least if I know what it is I can pray about it and make my plans on how to help and how to deal with it. I guess the biggest stress is just the not knowing. Not knowing how things are going to work out and not knowing the repercussions of those things.
I know things will get better, they always do. It’s just this plodding on through with my head down that is getting to me. Things already feel slightly better, just by getting this off my chest. The light at the end of the tunnel is dimly lit and barely visible, but it visible all the same. OK I’m done venting for now, I don’t want to swallow everyone up with my funk. So bring on the weekend and enjoy yours!!!
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