Thursday, January 12, 2012

Taking off my tin foil hat...

So it’s safe to take off my foil hat now, I’m not being invaded by brain reading aliens but I’ll get back to that in a minute. Let’s just say yesterday was a little crazy. I started working out and eating better (healthier, I think) this week, so I’m a little sore and a little irritable but still moving along just fine. I’m still working on being happier, but I think I have come a long ways from where I was and I wasn’t letting my muscle fatigue and food (beer) cravings get to me. Then yesterday hit.


I get home from work yesterday and I hear a real high pitch whining in the dining room. I do a quick preliminary search and I can only hear it in the dining room. It sounded like when a hearing aid has feedback and you get that annoying screech that is just barely enough in the audible range to drive you bat crap crazy. After not finding anything I figured maybe it was just my ears ringing and went on about my business. When L Bird got home I asked her if she heard it and both her and A Bird agreed that they could hear it too, so it wasn’t just me and I wasn’t going crazy.

So now I’m going crazy trying to find this sound. Both L Bird and I are trying to listen and getting irritated with each other and everything else because neither one of us can find it because while we are trying to be quiet to listen A Bird is talking or the dogs are walking through the kitchen and you can hear their nails on the wood floor, or Orange Cat is right under your feet with the scummiest of scum cat meows that just grates at you. Finally, I gave up and started calling everyone I knew for ideas of what to check. I checked with my dad who had me unplug and shut everything off as well as flipping the breaker for the dining room, I checked with Capt. Insano who told me that I should wear a tin foil hat just to be safe, because, “you know, you don’t want aliens reading your thoughts.” Then he was a little more helpful and suggested flipping the Main breaker to rule out the electricity. I talked to my Stepfather and Grandfather and they suggested flipping the main as well as checking the water main coming into the house as maybe it could be a high pressure pinhole water leak. When none of these things worked and the ringing was still there my Grandfather appeared to join Capt. Insano’s camp and asked if I could see any little green men hiding in the trees outside.

Finally, frustrated and defeated we went to bed. L Bird gets up to use the bathroom shortly before I get up for work and comes back into the bedroom huffing about the noise is still there and its driving her nuts as I am trying to enjoy the last 4 minutes of my 9 minute snooze button. So I’m a little huffy myself when I get up for my shower. I take my shower and am on my way back through the dining room and the noise is louder. So I stop and start looking for it again, if anyone could have seen me I would have looked like a mental patient. Here is a bald, fat guy in nothing but a bath towel standing chairs, getting on his hands and knees and crawling under the dining room table, just looking mentally unstable as he is hunting this “phantom” noise. I was just about to give up when I start going through things on the table, I picked up my camera, nope that’s not it. But wait, when I moved the camera the sound got louder, I’m getting closer. I turn into a five year old on Christmas. I am whipping through things on the table like a mad man. A Bird’s craft supplies go, then her coloring books and then finally victory.

I moved a couple of magazines and there under them was a small game that A Bird’s daycare had given to her. It was small enough to be concealed by a magazine with no visible bump, but loud enough to drive me nuts. I was so overjoyed that before I took out the batteries I took it into the bedroom and woke L Bird up to listen to it to show her I found it. I muffled it under some clothes as I got dressed then went out found a screwdriver and as gently as possible at that moment removed its batteries. Sweet relief!

So like I said in the beginning I can take off my foil hat now, but I may just keep my eye out for little green men in the trees.

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