Yesterday, L Bird and I celebrated 9 years of marriage together. This fall we will have been together for 14 years, that’s right 14 years! Almost 40% of my entire life has been spent with L Bird, crazy right? But I digress, so last night my father and stepmother came down to watch the girls so L Bird and I could go out to dinner. We went to our favorite restaurant, stuffed ourselves on fried pickles, schnitzel, and giant mugs of beer and glasses of wine, then came home singing along as loud as we could to any awful song on the radio, yep I’m looking at you Taylor Swift.
(On a Taylor Swift side note, maybe she should take a good long hard look at herself before writing another heartbroken song and realize maybe it really is her that is the problem.) We got home and got both girls to bed and still managed to be in bed by 9:15PM, I know right? How lame are we that being in bed before 10 pm is the greatest gift a person could get? But all in all it was a very good night.
This morning on my way into work I thought about all of the things L Bird and I have learned about each other over these past 14 years. The list is huge and includes things like L Bird will leave me to my certain death if a tree comes crashing down but will take the time to grab a stuffed rabbit as she flees the room. It also includes things like L Bird loves to bake and entertain because it gives her an opportunity to make “snacks”.
But there are bigger things I have learned along the way too. Things that have helped us along the way like making sure to spend time together and time apart too. I love when we are all together or when just L Bird and I are together. It’s time when we can connect and talk, it’s time we can relax and be ourselves completely and that is a liberating feeling. But there are also times when taking the time to do something on your own is very helpful too, even if it is just for a few hours. Having kids is one of life’s greatest gifts, but it is also a struggle because if you are not careful you can lose yourself while caring for everyone but you. So when L Bird wants to run out to the outlet mall or run errands without having the girls underfoot I take over and let her have some time away, then she does the same for me if I want to hit up an auction with Radtke for a few hours. It’s this give and take that has helped us stay sane when we need a little break.
(On a Taylor Swift side note, maybe she should take a good long hard look at herself before writing another heartbroken song and realize maybe it really is her that is the problem.) We got home and got both girls to bed and still managed to be in bed by 9:15PM, I know right? How lame are we that being in bed before 10 pm is the greatest gift a person could get? But all in all it was a very good night.
This morning on my way into work I thought about all of the things L Bird and I have learned about each other over these past 14 years. The list is huge and includes things like L Bird will leave me to my certain death if a tree comes crashing down but will take the time to grab a stuffed rabbit as she flees the room. It also includes things like L Bird loves to bake and entertain because it gives her an opportunity to make “snacks”.
But there are bigger things I have learned along the way too. Things that have helped us along the way like making sure to spend time together and time apart too. I love when we are all together or when just L Bird and I are together. It’s time when we can connect and talk, it’s time we can relax and be ourselves completely and that is a liberating feeling. But there are also times when taking the time to do something on your own is very helpful too, even if it is just for a few hours. Having kids is one of life’s greatest gifts, but it is also a struggle because if you are not careful you can lose yourself while caring for everyone but you. So when L Bird wants to run out to the outlet mall or run errands without having the girls underfoot I take over and let her have some time away, then she does the same for me if I want to hit up an auction with Radtke for a few hours. It’s this give and take that has helped us stay sane when we need a little break.
Another thing I have learned and still have to keep working at is making sure that I maintain eye contact while listening and conversing with L Bird. I notice that in this ever evolving technological age more and more people, especially teenagers are constantly focused on texting and IM’ing rather than face to face interaction. But where it falls into play with L Bird and I usually goes like this, I will be sitting on the sofa screwing around on my phone while L Bird is talking to me, then she will get mad at me and accuse me of not listening because I am not making eye contact with her. The same is true when I am trying to talk to her and she sits down to the computer to check facebook and just nods and “uh huhs” through the conversation. It makes both of us feel like what we have to say is not as important as someone else’s useless status update on facebook. So I know that we both try hard to make and maintain eye contact while speaking because we do truly value what each other has to say.
Finally, I have learned that I need to have some sort of physical contact every day from L Bird. I’m not talking anything gross or sexual, but physical contact that conveys the warmth we have for each other. Even if it is as little as a kiss hello or a longer hug, that’s enough but when we don’t touch because we get caught up in making dinner or running baths for the girls or whatever else comes up I realize that I get moody and sulky. I like to think that it is the same for her too, because there have been days we get caught up in the little things until it’s bedtime and then I get “Do you realize that you have not kissed/hugged/touched me all day?”. Its then that I feel awful because I know how that makes me feel so I try to take the time every day for some contact and time together.
I could ramble on and on, but I just wanted to share a few things I have learned so take it for what its worth. Enjoy your time because it is gone all too soon.
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