A Bird: Queen of Bedtime Stalling

I’m sure all kids are great at stalling before bedtime, but A Bird seems to be the queen of it. I don’t know where she learned it, or where any kids learn to do it, but it definitely happens. A Bird’s bedtime routine used to be simple, in and out in like 5-7 minutes. We would go in read a short book and she would be asleep before the light was out. Now, through her skill at stalling, it has morphed into a 15-20 minute ordeal, which includes many various goings on before she is asleep. Let me walk through her routine:


It’s between 8 – 8:30, her television show ends signaling it’s time to go to bed. Then she fights brushing her teeth for about five minutes with L Bird. While this is going on I get her a small cup of water, her blanket and whatever stuffed toy she is attached to at the moment. Currently, it is “Tracker” a small stuffed beagle. By the time I round up all of this and get into her room she is done brushing her teeth. So now A Bird comes bounding into her bedroom, first she demands that her vaporizer be plugged in and her blue night light be turned on, then she turns to her book shelf in search of a book she wants to have read before bed. She normally picks the biggest/longest book she can find and jumps into bed with it. Now the bargaining starts:

Me: A Bird this book is way too long, how about we pick a new book?

A Bird: NO, I want to read this one!

Me: Are you sure? You don’t want to read the poky little puppy or Gossie?

A Bird: No, I want this one!

Me: Fine, but we are only going to read 5 pages. (There is a ton to read on each page)

A Bird: Dad, how about 10 pages?

Me: No, how about 6 pages?

And this goes back and forth until we settle in around 7 pages. We read her book and shut out her light, now we have to sing a song. Now part of the stalling is my fault, I have always sung her one song. So I’ll tease her and start singing a different song, like “Oh Suzanna” or something like that and A Bird pitches a fit until I tell her I will sing her song.

***Ever since she was a baby I have sung her the same song. It may not be the most appropriate but it was the one that always worked to get her to sleep. So I sing her “Show Me The Way To Go Home”. It goes:

Show me the way to go home,

‘cuz I’m tired and I want to go to bed.

I had a little drink about an hour ago,

And it’s gone right to my head.

Where ever I may roam,

By Land, Air, Sea, or Foam,

You can always hear me singing this song,

Show me the way to go home.

Then she is finally satisfied. I give A Bird a big kiss and tell her I love her and head out the door. L Bird now normally gets held up drawing a family picture on the glow doodle. A Bird asks for one of us, normally L Bird to draw Me, A Bird and L Bird on the glow doodle. Then once they are drawn, she kisses the glow doodle and settles in for bed.

Now L Bird and I are both out of her room and free to do what we want, until…. The calls start. A Bird will be quiet for about 5 minutes, then begin calling and calling until one of us answer her. We have tried to ignore her and tell her to go to bed, but she gets so worked up that she almost pukes. So for the sake of the laundry and floor, it’s easier to go in and see what she wants. Then normally its, “Dad, I have to tell you something, or dad, I have to tell you a secret” I go in and she leans into my ear and whispers things like “Tomorrow when we get up we can have popsicles together”.

Or there is my other personal favorite, I go walk in and she is buried in more stuffed animals than we put her to bed with. She gets up and grabs everyone she owns and tucks them in then settles in the middle of them. Now she realizes that she is uncomfortable and doesn’t have any room to sleep. She calls one of us in and says something like “Dad, can you please take out sock monkey and Uni and take them to bed with you? I don’t have any room” So I grab them up and take them out with me. Unfortunately for sock monkey and Uni, they don’t make it to my bed. They make it as far as the toy box until the next day when A Bird finds them again.

After all of that she finally drifts off to sleep and L Bird and I can relax. This happens every night like clockwork. Some nights I walk out of there so frustrated that it takes that long to get her to bed, then other nights I am so thankful for every moment I have with her. I am so grateful that she is such a smart and inventive kid that never ceases to amaze me.

I guess, for all the frustration with her stalling and stress that it causes some nights, I wouldn’t trade that time for anything. I am so blessed to have A Bird, L Bird and our simple routines.