So normally about 3 times out of 5, I pick A Bird up from daycare. I go in to get her, she runs into my arms, and its like a slow motion cheesy movie clip. But it’s those 30 seconds that make my day. I can see how happy she is to see me and any stress I have just fades away. I pack up her things and check with Miss Debbie or Krista to see how she ate, if she napped, and how well she was that day. Then we’re off and rolling for home.
The car ride is when we really connect. I ask her how her day was and what she did, and she tells me what games she played and what she learned. She rattles off what she had for snack and what all the other kids had, she tells me who was in time out and for what. She just rattles away until she hears a song on the radio she likes, then everything stops until she sings along with the song and it ends. These are my favorite times.
Then today she hits me with this out of the blue:
A Bird: Dad, you know J.W.?
Me: Yeah, I know J.W.
A Bird: J.W. is my boyfriend
Me: Right, because he is a boy and he’s you’re friend right?
A Bird: No Dad, he’s my boyfriend.
Me: Uh ok, but why is he your boyfriend?
A Bird: Because you remember in the summer, J.W. pushed me on the swings and that’s what boyfriends do.
Me: Oh ok A Bird.
During that whole conversation, it felt like someone was stabbing me in the heart. I kept picturing moments that I know are coming in the future. Her first date, her first dance, high school boyfriends, and then finally me giving her away at a wedding. I just kept thinking, she can’t be thinking about boys already, she’s still my baby. I just kept thinking no, not yet, please not yet.
As we were almost home, I had come back to my senses and realize that she is just a little girl with a lot of life in front of her. Her and JW’s friendship is totally innocent and I’m happy she has a best friend at daycare. As for the future, it scares the hell out of me, but I’ll deal with that when it shows up.
It can’t be that bad, right?
Yeah right, Lord give me strength.
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