I have talked to a few people about this and I have read an article on brain function, biology and memory and it seems pretty true that “Time heals all wounds.” I mean I think that it most applies to relationships, you could be in a serious relationship and have some crappy things done to you but years later your mind tends to soften those wounds and you only remember the good stuff. But I think it applies to childbirth and raising children as well.
Now that A Bird is almost six, life is easy. She can pretty much take care of herself, just the other day she got up, got herself dressed, turned on the TV and was getting herself some breakfast when L Bird walked out to see what she was doing. It was a proud moment to see how independent she has become and how her independence has eased our life considerably. That independence was what we had grown accustomed to before we had Nat. So the whole time we were trying to have Nat our minds had only remembered all the sweet times when A Bird was a baby. We remembered all the smiles, coos and her first laughs. We remembered watching her personality develop and her first steps, we remembered worrying about her not speaking then worrying she would never stop talking. Yep, that’s all we remembered and envisioned while L Bird was pregnant with Nat. Sure, we vaguely remembered sleepless nights and crying but time had softened those blows in our memories so they “really weren’t that bad”. From talking to L Bird labor was hard, but she made it through and “it wasn’t so bad”, it was something to be proud of to make it through naturally. Yep, that is what we remembered.
Now Nat is officially here and making her mark on our lives and the realities of raising children have set in and are vividly marked in our minds. Don’t get me wrong, I am so so so thankful to God that he blessed us with Nat and I wouldn’t change a thing. I am truly blessed, but it is tough to go through the screaming, crying, sleepless nights again. All of the things we forgot about during A Bird growing up are right at the forefront of our every waking thought with Nat. All of the bouts of explosive diarrhea, the fun of being peed on as you change a diaper, the inconsolable crying that only L Bird can comfort when I am alone with both girls, and the constant worrying are present. You just get the baby down to sleep, then the random thought of what if she pulled a receiving blanket over her face? Or what if the cat jumped into the Moses basket and is smothering her? creep into your mind, so you sneak into the bedroom as quietly as possible, army crawling if you have to, when you step on a toy or a cat meows and you freeze like you are caught in the spotlight of a prison break movie. You stand stock still and hold your breathe until you’re positive she is still asleep then you sneak to take a peek at her and she is absolutely fine, flat out asleep with her hands above her head like a drunk hobo. All I am saying is you forget about all of these things when you are pregnant and waiting for the baby.
I read an article that said we are biologically programmed this way, to forget the bad and only remember the good. The article said we are programmed this way to ensure the survival of the human race. The point it was trying to make was if we remembered all of the not so good experiences as vividly as we remember the good and great memories not many of us would have brothers and sisters because our parents would have stopped at one child. It makes sense to me, if women could remember with explicit detail the pain of childbirth I’m not so sure they would want to experience it again. I know they remember it and remember it well, but “time heals all wounds” and the memory is softened by the fact that you get a cute ball of joy at the end.
I know that in time all this will pass and I’ll be left with a new set of worries like boyfriends and driving and even those memories will be softened as I grow old, but for now I’ll suffer through the bad because the good stuff far outweighs the bad. We’ll make it through with a lot of help from our friend, COFFEE. On that note, I’m off to pour myself a nice hot cup of black delicious caffeine.
Now that A Bird is almost six, life is easy. She can pretty much take care of herself, just the other day she got up, got herself dressed, turned on the TV and was getting herself some breakfast when L Bird walked out to see what she was doing. It was a proud moment to see how independent she has become and how her independence has eased our life considerably. That independence was what we had grown accustomed to before we had Nat. So the whole time we were trying to have Nat our minds had only remembered all the sweet times when A Bird was a baby. We remembered all the smiles, coos and her first laughs. We remembered watching her personality develop and her first steps, we remembered worrying about her not speaking then worrying she would never stop talking. Yep, that’s all we remembered and envisioned while L Bird was pregnant with Nat. Sure, we vaguely remembered sleepless nights and crying but time had softened those blows in our memories so they “really weren’t that bad”. From talking to L Bird labor was hard, but she made it through and “it wasn’t so bad”, it was something to be proud of to make it through naturally. Yep, that is what we remembered.
Now Nat is officially here and making her mark on our lives and the realities of raising children have set in and are vividly marked in our minds. Don’t get me wrong, I am so so so thankful to God that he blessed us with Nat and I wouldn’t change a thing. I am truly blessed, but it is tough to go through the screaming, crying, sleepless nights again. All of the things we forgot about during A Bird growing up are right at the forefront of our every waking thought with Nat. All of the bouts of explosive diarrhea, the fun of being peed on as you change a diaper, the inconsolable crying that only L Bird can comfort when I am alone with both girls, and the constant worrying are present. You just get the baby down to sleep, then the random thought of what if she pulled a receiving blanket over her face? Or what if the cat jumped into the Moses basket and is smothering her? creep into your mind, so you sneak into the bedroom as quietly as possible, army crawling if you have to, when you step on a toy or a cat meows and you freeze like you are caught in the spotlight of a prison break movie. You stand stock still and hold your breathe until you’re positive she is still asleep then you sneak to take a peek at her and she is absolutely fine, flat out asleep with her hands above her head like a drunk hobo. All I am saying is you forget about all of these things when you are pregnant and waiting for the baby.
I read an article that said we are biologically programmed this way, to forget the bad and only remember the good. The article said we are programmed this way to ensure the survival of the human race. The point it was trying to make was if we remembered all of the not so good experiences as vividly as we remember the good and great memories not many of us would have brothers and sisters because our parents would have stopped at one child. It makes sense to me, if women could remember with explicit detail the pain of childbirth I’m not so sure they would want to experience it again. I know they remember it and remember it well, but “time heals all wounds” and the memory is softened by the fact that you get a cute ball of joy at the end.
I know that in time all this will pass and I’ll be left with a new set of worries like boyfriends and driving and even those memories will be softened as I grow old, but for now I’ll suffer through the bad because the good stuff far outweighs the bad. We’ll make it through with a lot of help from our friend, COFFEE. On that note, I’m off to pour myself a nice hot cup of black delicious caffeine.
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