Thursday, September 15, 2011

Balancing...

This past week has felt like one great balancing act for me and it is causing me a lot of stress. At work I have always gotten pretty decent performance reviews, but there has always been one knock against me. That knock is that I leave on time every day. In this day and age every company is trying to do more with less and a lot of people are spread thin and my company is no different. So yesterday I was leaving at 3 PM and I ran into one of my superiors on the way out and he jokingly asked me if I had “banker’s hours”. I replied with courtesy and said that I had been there since 6 AM, to which he replied “Well, you’re salaried so you should be working 6 – 5.” Then he laughed and walked inside. Yeah, he said everything in a joking manner, but I’ve known him long enough to know that there is some bit of truth in his jokes. It really bothers me that people think I slack off because I do my job and leave on time. My hours are 6 AM to 3 PM, and most days I am to work before 6, so while other people come in at 8 and get irritated that I am leaving at 3, they forget that while they are sleeping in a nice and cozy warm bed, I have already been up and at work for a few hours. But they never see that, they just see me walking out the door “early”.


Now I have never had any problem staying late to work on projects or take care of business that needs attention. I have rearranged daycare pickups to stay late, but have always had a drop dead time to pickup for daycare, so there have been times where I have stayed late then left to pick up A Bird. But on those occasions I always have taken the work home with me and had it finished before whoever needed it even showed up for their day. I guess I just hate that people think I am slacking, I am very organized and manage my day well so that all of my responsibilities are complete by the end of the day so I can leave on time. But I always have wondered, am I really that much more organized and other people so disorganized? Or do they have more on their plate and I should be doing more? When I think that, I have always gone to my boss and asked for more, yet I am still finished on time 95% of the time.

I really enjoy the hours I work, I enjoy coming in early before anyone else gets in and doing the majority of my work without being distracted. I also love getting out when I do, by leaving at 3, it gives me more time to spend with A Bird. I value that time so much. It’s during this time that we connect and talk and play. It’s this time of day that I get to just be with her and bond. Our family is very close knit and that is important to me. So I think that I have found the perfect life/work balance.

This is the balancing act that I feel like is weighing me down. I want to do well and be recognized for my work so I can move up in the company and provide better for my family, but I also don’t want to sacrifice the little time I have with A Bird during these early years. I’m sure everyone feels like this or has felt like this before, it just sucks and is hitting me hard.

OK, holy long post, huh? I have more to post on the balancing acts but I will break off and post the rest tomorrow…

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