There is always a danger when someone asks for your advice. Sometimes people have a pre-conceived notion of what you are going to say, or they believe that you are sympathetic enough to agree with what they want to do and when you don't they get upset with you when you give them your advice. On the other hand, you could give them some good advice, but when they act upon it, it just doesn't seem to pan out for them and they get pissy with you anyways. So I try to stay away from giving advice, but I do occasionally do hand out some small pieces.
These are some of the pieces of information that I have put together and try to use in my every day life to be a better man. They are all pretty obvious and not strikingly genius, but sometimes I get caught up in the day to day that I feel I lose my way, so I always try to come back to these things.
1. Be a good man when no one is watching.
Anyone can be good when someone is watching you, but what you do when no one else is around that defines your character. How do you act when no one is around to sing your praises about a good deed that they witnessed you perform? Would you still perform the same deed if no one was there to see it? Would you still do the right thing when you know that you could turn the other way and no one would know? This is definitely a hard road to walk, but I try to fight the good fight and do what I know is right in my heart even if it isn't easy.
2. A king knows what to do and does it.
A King is charged with the responsibility of his kingdom and he is faced with many decisions on a daily basis, he has to look at the facts, at his history with the factors and make his decision. Then once that decision has been handed down, there is no going back. This, much more simply put is BE DECISIVE! Don't waffle back and forth or agonize or making a decision, the decision is going to be made one way or another, it isn't going to just go away. So look at all the factors involved and weigh them out as logically as possible, then pick your path and defend it. If your decision is the right one then its great, if it turns out to be wrong then you learn from that mistake and move on. For example, in my career there are times where I have been called upon to make hard decisions, when I have made the wrong one I explain what I based the decision on and listen to what other factors that I may have missed and then I take that knowledge going forward for the next time I have to make a hard decision. Its a hard lesson to learn and everyone HATES being wrong, but it has made me a much stronger person both in business and the real world.
3. Let your work speak for itself.
People will always talk about how you got where you going. Most people will recognize the hard work and effort you have put it, but some people will always have something negative to say. "Oh she is in only in that position because she slept with the boss." or "He only has that job because its his Dad's company." I say whatever haters, they are only bad mouthing you because they are jealous of what you have and that jealousy blinds them the countless hours you've put in or the schooling you've had to get where you are. When I hear people talking like this its easy for my temper to flash, but I try my best to keep my mouth shut and stand on the quality of my work. The people that matter know what goes into what you do, the people that don't, don't matter. If the quality of my work was piss poor, you can bet your ass that I would hear about it from my boss, so until I hear that I keep my head down and my focus on the quality of my work and let it do the talking for me.
4. Honesty & Accountability
Everybody knows these things, but in this world where people are stepping on each others throats to get anything they get pushed to the side. Be honest, even if its hard. I am as honest as I can be, because that is exactly what I want from other people. Nobody likes liars, and nobody likes being lied to, so just be honest no matter what it brings. Now don't get me wrong, there is a difference between being honest and being brutally honest/rude. For example the age old joke, when a woman asks "Does this dress make my ass look fat?", a response of "I don't think that dress accentuates your body style" will go a lot further that "No, its your ass that makes your ass look fat!"
Accountability goes hand in hand with honesty because nobody likes cry babies or weasels either. So if you are on the wrong side of the line, own it. Yes I made a mistake and it is my fault. Don't make excuses, well it was so and so's fault, or I was too busy doing everything else to worry about that, NO! You screwed up now accept that responsibility and what comes with it. You want to be treated like a big kid in this world act like a big kid, anything else makes you looks sneaky, slimy and weak.
So there it is, these things are pretty much common sense but people forget them. Take it for what it's worth.
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